Thank You

How often do we feel that itch? That sense of unease? That we would rather be somewhere else? That we would rather have something else? That we would rather be someone else?

The things we have are not good enough. Our level of achievement is not good enough. We are not good enough. Not tall enough. Not slim enough. Not wealthy enough. Not clever enough.

This is a human condition, to dwell and ruminate upon all the things that aren’t going right in our lives, and all the ways we come up short. All the times we’ve failed. All the ways we will never realise our dreams.

But it is further fuelled by the system we live in. Up here on the surface of reality, the very system we inhabit requires us to be in this state of dissatisfaction. It needs us to be continually unhappy with what we’ve got and who we are, to an extent that it stokes our dissatisfaction, it aggravates that itch in order that we may grease its wheels with money and attention and compliance.

If we hate the way we look we’ll spend more on beauty treatments. If we think our car isn’t good enough, we’ll take on more debt in order to buy a new one that we don’t need. We are urged to splurge on the latest diet plan, the latest smartphone, the latest… whatever… and it does all this by making us feel like we’re not enough.

In the end we are unhappy with how we look, what we own, the jobs we work, and who we are. And in this state, we become perfect consumers.

But we don’t have to be. We can rebel.

We hear the word ‘gratitude’ a thousand times a day, but it really is a magic key to another way of being. Because when we actively engage in a practice of gratitude, we begin to focus on all the things we have, rather than all the things we don’t have. And, thanks to attention bias, what we focus on expands and before long we feel as though we are living the most abundant happy lives, and though we’re not perfect, and life isn’t perfect, and our car and our shoes and our homes aren’t perfect, they’re actually pretty damn good, thanks very much.

And it can be transformational, if we know how to apply it.

The simplest way is to write it down. Each day before bed, in a notebook, five things from the day you’re grateful for. Set yourself up for dreams of things that made you feel good, and in the morning awaken to a new outlook on life. Do it daily, and like going to the gym the benefits will be profound.

But there’s a more powerful way, too. And that is to say ‘thank you’.

During one of my darkest times, I was working shifts that required me to get up at 3.30am and drive 25 miles through the darkness and across country to my depot. I was pretty miserable. I never thought that life could be like this.

Then one morning, as I stepped out of bed and walked to the kitchen to make a coffee, I said ‘thank you’ quietly with each outward breath. ‘Thank you’ over and over again. And as I said it, I could feel my mind search for things to be grateful for.

That first day it was my first cup of coffee that I said ‘thank you’ for as it woke me up.

I kept saying it, all day long. ‘Thank you’.

The next day I’d added a beautiful sunrise and that fact that my car had started first time to the list of things to say ‘thank you’ for. By the end of the week my world overflowed with joy and wealth and reasons to be grateful. My universe was transformed, and me along with it.

Rather than someone bogged down by everything that was going wrong, I began to be lifted by all the things that were going right. I had a roof over my head, an income, I met interesting people all day long, food on the table, a loving, patient wife at home, and the chance to see a new beautiful sunrise every morning.

Can you take it further?

As well as saying ‘thank you’ for the good things in life, can we say ‘thank you’ for all the things that don’t go right? Can we say ‘thank you’ each time we fall down and get back up again? For each lesson learned? For everything that challenges us and makes us stronger?

By saying ‘thank you’ for all the things that go wrong as well as all the things that go right, we’re taking ownership and control of the outcome. No matter how unexpected, if we can say ‘thank you’ when we trip over our shoelaces, when we get shouted at by the boss, when we bump our car into the fence post, we can gather strength and we can own our circumstances. We are a step closer to equanimity and total ownership of our state of being.

This is no longer just about inviting wealth and abundance into our lives, it’s about seeing everything as wealth and abundance. It’s about changing our relationship with failure. It’s about being the controlling factor in our universe and announcing that, whatever happens, no matter how challenging or difficult, I got this.

‘Thank you’ for that outcome, I know what to do differently next time. I’ve learned a lesson. I’m better off for having been through this experience. I’m stronger than before. I know a little bit more about myself. I won’t do that again. I most certainly will do this again.

Sometimes the lessons will be painful, and sometimes they will be hard learned, but if you start saying ‘thank you’, you’ll never be a victim again. When you say ‘thank you’ every cloud will be lined with gold. Every sunrise will be the most beautiful. And the Universe will always be working in your favour.

Two small words, and the world changes before us.